Well today I went back to work.....

I have been so bad with keeping up my blog. I guess that is just how it is with a life with twins, eh?

Well, today was my first day back at work. All of last week I was dreading, yet anticipating my return to the 9 to 5 (well...8 to 4:30). Last week came with lots of ups and downs. Mason was cutting his 5th tooth.. and I tell ya, this was the worst teething experience yet! I could NOT WAIT for that tooth to cut, and it was making me even more impatient about starting my week back to work. But then, because of that thought, I felt bad again.

As the weekend approached though, I was feeling more apprehensive though. As much as I felt I needed the break, it was getting hard to cope with the idea that I would be only seeing my boys for about 3 hours a day, as opposed to the 12 hours I was currently spending.

But as I woke up this morning I felt somewhat relieved and refreshed. I knew that deep down, I needed to break away a bit from this current daily grind. I was getting COMPLETE cabin fever being stuck at home everyday without a car for the last 12 months. That can be very hard to deal with some days.

My first day went really well. My boss had a lovely bouquet of "Welcome Back" flowers that totally made my morning (on top of my much missed Tim Hortons XL coffee :D) But as soon as I sat down at my desk and my boss welcomed me back, I totally broke down in tears :( I thought I was going to be okay, but at that moment all the thoughts of the permanence of this came flooding in. I am officially back to work... and this is a full-time thing.. for now anyway.

The day went by REALLY fast though, and I had a great day. I have yet to encounter any of my customers yet since it is currently the slow season, but it will be fun to talk to them again. Today was mainly.. ahem "fixing" all the design work for the current year.. product guides, etc. That was fun.. right up my alley!

When the work day was done, I absolutely couldn't wait to see my boys. And that will continue to be the best part of my day.

Ug... oh well :S

Well its been 2 weeks since I last posted... I guess my picture a day challenge kind of flopped already! I think the reason it didn't pan out, is that I was going to do the daily themes listed on Dailyshoot.com.. and they weren't always ones I could do!
I am home bound pretty much every day so being able to get out and takes a picture of a busy street or trail is kind of hard for me to do :S I think I will continue to use that site for inspiration, but generally do my own thing.

On another note, I go back to work one week from today.
I've had a mixture of feelings, from sadness and guilt, to excitement and relief. I think it all depends on what type of day I am having. The last few days have been rough around here.

I think Mason is getting another tooth, and he seems to be experiencing a lot of separation anxiety. Mason is usually "Mr. To-Busy-to-Sit-Still"...and all he wants these days is me. Don't get me wrong, I love feeling needed by my usually independent son, but some days it is just a bit much. Jacob needs the love too! And with that Mason will get into a tizzy the moment I have to put him down to do anything else. So it is days like this where I am thankful to be gong back to work... I just need a little break! Does that make me a bad mom? I sure hope not.

The flip side is I keep worrying about missing things. For example, Jacob has been spending a lot of time now standing on his own.. and I just know that his first steps will be coming REAL soon. I am hoping that he will save them for when I am home... I will be so sad if I miss that momentous moment. And just the other everyday things that we do together is going to be cut short. I am really going to miss that too. Especially this - Jacob's smooshy face after nap time (yes, I know I will still see this on the weekends.. thankfully!)


Ah, I am just a mess :S

I am looking forward to the following though:

- Adult interaction
- Quiet lunch breaks where I can read my pile of books that are waiting for me :)
- Another creative outlet

Next Monday will definitely be different than today. I know that I am going to be a wreck for a couple days. But I think we'll all be okay.

Photo Challenge

Yes, this is actually my second post today. Somehow I managed to get back on here, let alone have something to write about.

Of my many goals this year, the one I've been wanting to work on first (other than this blog) is my photography skills. I was fortunate to be able to purchase myself a DSLR last summer and I have taken A LOT of photos of the boys with it. But, that said, I have always wanted to dabble deeper in photography. My biggest problems right now are: 1) Time,2) Know-how beyond the basics and 3) Inspiration/ ideas.

I took some photography in high school, yet do you think I can remember much of what I learned now?

So, in my efforts to broaden my horizons in photography subjects, I found the site dailyshoot.com, which helped me come up with ideas. I've decided that I am going to start a 'challenge' for myself with a photograph a day, using the daily theme listed on dailyshoot.com.

Today's theme was "Take a photo with a soft look". I guess I tried to go literally and visually.. so here is my attempt today:



Then that got me started again.... and brought me back to my regular subjects, Mason and Jacob. I started fiddling with the black and white mode again, and I thought I'd share my two favourites from today:

My Envirosax are here!!

I recently entered a giveaway at a fellow "April Mommy"'s blog, A Sophisticated Mommy. It was for these super fun, eco-friendly shopping bags, by Envirosax.

And I won! I never win anything!

They arrived today and I can't wait to use them. Now I just need an excuse to do some more grocery shopping (just did my big trip yesterday...darn!)
Aren't they so awesome?


On top of their cute designs, what is even more great is that the roll up small and have their own little pouch to store them in. I think I will be MUCH better at remembering to bring these along with me now when I go out shopping.

The Business of Being Born

Well after a very long day (consisting of attending a birthday party, dealing with two very cranky, over-tired boys, and a stupid cold that just WILL NOT leave!) it was time for me to relax on the couch with a glass of vino.

I had the whole evening to myself since Chris, being the awesome husband he is, was fixing our poor minivan. The fuel pump blew on it last night (joy!) and after we went to the birthday party of a friend of ours' daughter today, he was off to get the job done. I am so very thankful for him being so mechanical, because we just don't need a huge bill right now.

So anyway, the kids are in bed and I have the whole evening to myself! We recently got Netflix, so I was in the mood to watch something, but wasn't quite sure of what to watch. So since it was just me (which means I have ALL the say!) I watched the documentary "The Business of Being Born". I had meant to watch this when I was pregnant with the boys since I had heard good things about it, but unfortunately it was left unchecked on my "Before Babies To-Do List".

I must say, it made me yearn and dream for an future intervention-free labor and birth. Am I experiencing Baby Fever? No, ha ha, I am not that crazy.....yet. But I am hoping that when the time comes for us to have another child, I will have this opportunity.

The boys pregnancy was obviously not your typical pregnancy. I was high risk because of it being twins, and my history of high blood pressure certainly didn't help. I knew that there was a higher chance of complications, and cesarean section. But I also knew that the possibility of having an uncomplicated, vaginal birth was also possible. And that was what I was aiming for.

All through my pregnancy the boys were in optimal position. Both head down, and towards the end they were both anterior as well. But, due to my unpredictable and increasing blood pressure , Baby B (Jacob) was having intrauterine growth restriction. This lead to me being induced, and then going 50+ hours with no real progress. Since that wasn't going anywhere, a C-section it was.

For a while, I did feel ripped-off for not being able to experience what I had envisioned in my mind. And it did take me a little while to get over that. I had also felt the same way about my problems with breastfeeding. I had envisioned myself tandem feeding my two boys successfully, and after reading Mothering Multiples: Breastfeeding and Caring for Twins or More, I felt I was prepared.

Again, things didn't go as smoothly as I had imagined, and although I was able to successfully pump for them exclusively, for almost 7 months, it just wasn't the same.

But now, the most important thing is that I've got two very happy and healthy little boys. I know I can't change the past, and really, I wouldn't have it any other way. I had that experience. Just next time, I hope I have a different one! I know that like all things in life, you can't predict how things will go. The best one can do is be aware of all the options, and be as educated as you can about them. There are resources and support out there, you just need to use them!

For all I know, next time I could get pregnant with another set of twins (Oh my god, could you imagine?!)

Okay, here we go!

I don't know how many times over the years I have started a blog. I think this is my fifth and most ambitious attempt yet. Where in the world am I going to find time to post in this blog? I have no clue, but I am going to try my best anyway :S

This morning I had a bunch of ideas (and time!)for what my blog was going to be about. But then I sat down on the computer and used all my free time to design my blog's header....oops! I actually had a lot of fun just being able to sit down and do that for the first time in a while.

Now since that is done though, I should actually write something. My blog is going to be my spot to talk (and gush!) about my twin boys, and the attempt to squeeze in some time for myself to do the things I love. Drawing, painting, photography, graphic design,jewelry making and the like. I think I have too many hobbies :S

My dream is to one day actually make some profit off my free time, but for now its about making my ideas come to life!

But my first post is going to follow the trend of some of my fellow Mommy bloggers... a photo review of 2010. It was the year after all, that my precious boys made their entrance into my life :)

January 2010 - Our Maternity photo's at 29 weeks


February 2010 - 33 weeks. 2 weeks after being put on bedrest


March 2010 - They are here! Mason and Jacob arrived @ 37 weeks 2days


April 2010 - Our Pro newborn pics


May 2010 - Got my new DSLR camera, and my first picture I took with it :)


June 2010 - Posing my poor babies :)



July 2010 - Mommy and her boys


August 2010 - This was during our first family roadtrip to Fruitvale, BC


September 2010 - 6 months old!


October 2010 - Happy Halloween!


November 2010 - Helping mom with laundry


December 2010 - Merry Christmas! (Yes, okay, there are 2 here!)