Well after a very long day (consisting of attending a birthday party, dealing with two very cranky, over-tired boys, and a stupid cold that just WILL NOT leave!) it was time for me to relax on the couch with a glass of vino.
I had the whole evening to myself since Chris, being the awesome husband he is, was fixing our poor minivan. The fuel pump blew on it last night (joy!) and after we went to the birthday party of a friend of ours' daughter today, he was off to get the job done. I am so very thankful for him being so mechanical, because we just don't need a huge bill right now.
So anyway, the kids are in bed and I have the whole evening to myself! We recently got Netflix, so I was in the mood to watch something, but wasn't quite sure of what to watch. So since it was just me (which means I have ALL the say!) I watched the documentary "The Business of Being Born". I had meant to watch this when I was pregnant with the boys since I had heard good things about it, but unfortunately it was left unchecked on my "Before Babies To-Do List".
I must say, it made me yearn and dream for an future intervention-free labor and birth. Am I experiencing Baby Fever? No, ha ha, I am not that crazy.....yet. But I am hoping that when the time comes for us to have another child, I will have this opportunity.
The boys pregnancy was obviously not your typical pregnancy. I was high risk because of it being twins, and my history of high blood pressure certainly didn't help. I knew that there was a higher chance of complications, and cesarean section. But I also knew that the possibility of having an uncomplicated, vaginal birth was also possible. And that was what I was aiming for.
All through my pregnancy the boys were in optimal position. Both head down, and towards the end they were both anterior as well. But, due to my unpredictable and increasing blood pressure , Baby B (Jacob) was having intrauterine growth restriction. This lead to me being induced, and then going 50+ hours with no real progress. Since that wasn't going anywhere, a C-section it was.
For a while, I did feel ripped-off for not being able to experience what I had envisioned in my mind. And it did take me a little while to get over that. I had also felt the same way about my problems with breastfeeding. I had envisioned myself tandem feeding my two boys successfully, and after reading Mothering Multiples: Breastfeeding and Caring for Twins or More, I felt I was prepared.
Again, things didn't go as smoothly as I had imagined, and although I was able to successfully pump for them exclusively, for almost 7 months, it just wasn't the same.
But now, the most important thing is that I've got two very happy and healthy little boys. I know I can't change the past, and really, I wouldn't have it any other way. I had that experience. Just next time, I hope I have a different one! I know that like all things in life, you can't predict how things will go. The best one can do is be aware of all the options, and be as educated as you can about them. There are resources and support out there, you just need to use them!
For all I know, next time I could get pregnant with another set of twins (Oh my god, could you imagine?!)